I never meant to release this song. It was really tough for me to sing it. It was a B-side when I put out the first single ever “Sudah tu Sudah” but radio picked it up, and it became a staple for the midnight horror-story show, for its ‘haunting’ sounds. Eventually it was picked up by a group of students to do a video of my song based on the real murder of a young Malay boy back in 1980s in Singapore. We did the video in conjunction with their short film they were already working on. I looked so young, and lost. At this time, it wasn’t the song that made any sort of waves. It was my hair colour.

The first time ever I decided to do something crazy, (also under the influence of some folks), I went blonde. Of course it wasn’t the brightest thing someone new like me should have done, and I did regret it. I was drilled on a daily basis, even by people on the streets. The streaky surfer look didn’t go down well with so many people who thought my goody two-shoes image should remain… goody two-shoes. Wow, they were not kidding. As Malays and as Muslims, artistes like me had to be some torch-bearer, they say. Hey, I just wanted to sing. I let the YouTube comments burn, sizzle and fizzle out. I’ve never coloured my hair again since then! Nobody cared. Goes to show when we’re new (or when we become artistes), anything can happen, just let it be. Just be good! After a while, I learnt my responsibilities and that all (or most) of my decisions as a role model must be a calculated one, my Mak always reminds as well.  Plus I turn 31 in a few days, I know where I stand. You can trust me. You can download the MP3 here.

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