We were recording a song called “Mengaku Kalah” for my 2nd album and we had gone through so many changes that it had drained us out, especially since the mood of the song was so mellow and depressing. The guitarist, Ujang, was so awesome in our few takes that I begged him to learn my song “Jika Engkau Pergi” that I wrote with Sulu and make an acoustic cut. We recorded that at Rafikoncept and it conveniently was added to the soundtrack of ‘Yusuff’ for TV3 as I was commissioned by AMC to do it at that time.

I loved BoyzIIMen’s “Doin’ Just Fine”. I think it’s their best song til today. How does one deny being heartbroken, refusing to crawl under the sheets when they have probably lost everything they’ve been building? Can you do that? “I’m doing just fine, I’m getting along very well without you in my life”. Can you purposefully change your life and lifestyle just so that you no longer have to face the person who hurt you?

As I wrote the 2nd album is the fashion of old-school Malay music, I wanted “Jika Engkau Pergi” to embody the 50’s lenggok, 60’s song structure, and 80’s and 90’s styled lyrics of heartache and loss similar to a great collection of Habsah Hassan’s work during that time. On top of that, it has to be a theme that spans all eras; “Go ahead, leave me, I’ll be fine”.

I wrote it also a reversed response to Jamal Abdillah’s “Kekasih Awal Dan Akhir” where he worshipped his lover as being God-sent. I, on the other hand, had to argue with that unconditional love when the ‘sunshine of my life’ decided to burst my ego and leave me with nothing, but a song.

I hope your grandmother loves it, let her hear it, and tell me what she thinks about it. I imagined this was in the 1950’s like in the black and white Malay movies where heartache is quite the unbearable thing. Can’t sing like BoyzIIMen or Jamal Abdillah but I’m sure, to sing about being heartbroken and pretending to be OK about it, like most of you out there, I’m an expert. “Time make me stronger, you’re no longer on my mind”

To download this song, you will need a Twitter account: http://unlock.sc/7ka


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